What Dreams May Come
by suiren
Summary: After Kenshin's death in the Seisouhen OVA, what happens to Kaoru? Can one soul survive without the other? K/K and others.
1. Like Waking from a Dream

**A/N:** I don't own Kenshin. Or the Movie I took this idea from. But if anyone owns Kenshin...and would like to loan him to me... ^_~   
This takes place after the OVA.(Seisouhen... or however it's spelled.) It assumes that Kaoru lives on with her disease after Kenshin's death. K/K, and others. Mainly K/K. 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kaoru's POV~*~**

I trace my fingers along where the lines of his scar used to be with a sad smile. I know exactly where it was--because I can see his face every time I close my eyes whether he's with me or not. It's a sad face. He was so burdened in life by his sins and his atonement. But now he looks peaceful and calm, my Shinta, with his eyes closed as if only resting. But I know he won't wake up. He's come back to me for the last time. In the back of my mind I know that Kenji, Yahiko, and Megumi are all looking for me. That there are funeral arrangements to be made. I know all of this, but I can wait. I am very ill. 

But I am not dead yet. I am still here, and Shinta has gone on to what awaits us...without me. I wonder if Tomoe is there. I wonder...no. I will not think of that. Tomoe was his first wife and I his second--I can only hope that perhaps in me he found some salvation, some solace, some relief from his sadness. If he did, I will die a happy woman who has lived a full life.

Voices are coming at me from down the path and I tilt my head to see my son running towards me, followed by Yahiko and Megumi. I manage to smile despite this heaviness in my heart. Every time I look at Kenji I see Kenshin--yes, Kenshin, not Shinta, because Shinta was not a swordsman and Kenji is just now beginning to understand the value of what Yahiko and his father stand for. I am proud of both Yahiko and Kenji, for Yahiko is becoming everything we had hoped he would become--a strong young man who understands the values of the fighting style I have trained him in. And Kenji...he is just learning, but someday he will become his father too. All men become their fathers. So someday, he will become Shinta. And he will make a very pretty girl very happy someday. With as ill as I am now I doubt I live to see it, but Megumi is determined to extend my lonely life for as long as possible now. She doesn't understand that if I die I go to rest with Shinta. All of them kneel next to me and when Megumi announces what I already know -- Kenshin is dead -- she doesn't know his real name, Kenji stares at his father for just a moment, and then lifts him into his arms while Yahiko helps me up and we begin a trek back to the dojo.

--Later--

Megumi, Tsunbame, and Tae are taking care of the funeral arrangements. They are doing the work, I am giving the instructions, because Megumi fears that me doing something as difficult as this would make my condition worse. She doesn't understand. She sleeps in my room now, next to me, determined to not let me slip into what awaits me. We have decided on a simple burial for Shinta -- there will be no mention of the legendary Hitokiri, or of the Bakumatsu, and slowly Battousai will fade into history while his body fades to dust beneath the ground. We will bury him tomorrow. Even though my son and most of my friends are here, I am still alone.

**~*~Kenshin...er...Shinta's POV~*~**

I feel as if I have woken from a dream as I open my eyes to find myself staring up at cherry trees basking in the light of a beautiful Japanese sunset. It takes me a moment to remember that I am indeed back in Japan, that the last face I remember seeing is Kaoru's -- my beautiful wife, who has done so much for me...so much that I have never been able to find the words to thank her. I wonder where she's gone. And why I'm alone. 

I stand up and to my amazement it doesn't hurt to do so, or wear me out. My pain is gone. Has seeing Kaoru done that much for me? I can't wait to see her again--surely she has gone back to the dojo to tell the others that I am back. I smile and ready myself to race down the path back to the dojo but there's a figure standing in my way. 

It's awfully blurry, and blinking doesn't seem to make it any clearer. Whoever it is has darkish hair--and is dressed in white--and they're thin, almost frail looking. It turns towards me and I can faintly smell a very familiar scent -- and then it speaks, and the voice echoes around me so that it seems as if it's not even coming from the figure in front of me.

"Shinta...That is no longer a path which you should be walking..."

I don't know what it means. That path leads back to my wife, my son, my friends...my home...my own private heaven where perhaps I can finally find peace as Shinta and not as Battousai--or even Kenshin. For Kenshin lived by the sword too. It was just a different type of blade. The blade of atonement. And I've finally succeeded in casting that aside--because I realize that my salvation is in Kaoru. I step forward towards the figure, but it doesn't move, nor does it become any clearer. 

"You do not belong here any more."

Like hell! A long trip in a weak body all the way from China and here's some crazy blurry thing telling me I don't belong. I want to see, no, I need to see Kaoru. So I start down the path anyway. The figure seems to sigh and takes it's place behind me, trodding along softly as I head down the path. I do my best to ignore it. After all, I'll be seeing Kaoru in a few minutes. 


	2. Proof of Life

**A/N:** .I.Don't.Own.Kenshin. or .What.Dreams.May.Come. Got it? I welcome comments and criticism--because I can use flames to roast marshmellows for the kind reviewers of FF.net. This is my first Kenshin fic. It's immediately after Seisouhen, and Kaoru's still alive. Orrooo! Enough from me... onto the story! ^-^ 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kaoru's POV~*~**

We have decided to bury him amongst the cherry trees. I remember telling him how the sakura could make his pain fade. When I close my eyes I can see him standing there -- with that small sad smile he reserved for me. But it's no use thinking like that. I won't ever see that smile again. He's left me here, alone. I wish I could drift to sleep and die. Then maybe I would see him among the cherry trees again.

**~*~Kenshin's POV~*~**

That figure's still following me. It's so familiar, and yet at the same time it's different, and I wish it wasn't so blurry. Every once in a while I try to glance at it out of the corner of my eye to see if its guard is down -- to see if I can see who it is. It speaks again.

"Battousai...you cannot see me...because you don't _want_ to see me."

Well, perhaps that's true. I don't want some wierd thing following me when I go back to my friends and my wife at the dojo. The door is open and I step inside, and my nose is struck by the stench of illness and even death. I could tell when I came back that Kaoru was ill -- but surely she has not died! The figure behind me sounds tired.

"No, Kenshin. Kaoru is not dead."

I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Oro...my name is Shinta."

I turn my back on that annoyingly familiar figure again and begin to wander the dojo. Tsubame rushes by me with a warm kettle of tea like I'm not even there. The girl is polite to the extreme, and her completely ignoring me is puzzling, so I follow her out into the hallway. Yahiko is sitting on the floor outside of Kaoru's room, head down, asleep. He looks troubled. I peer in through the doorway and I see Tsubame set the tea down inbetween two familiar figures who are kneeling next to a third. One of them is Tae. The other--long black hair--red lips...

"Oro! Megumi! What are you doing here?"

She doesn't answer my question but I get my answer anyway as I peer over her shoulder. Kaoru is in bed. Her face seems to suck the life out of the room instead of being full of the life and vibrancy I remember. She's so pale. I move to rush to her side, but a firm hand grips my shoulder and stops me with surprising strength. It's that blurry thing again. Only this time something catches my eye--the hand--it's feminine. Something to ponder later.

"Let go of me." I murmur, quite certain my eyes are turning to amber, "I want to see my wife."

"She can't hear you, Kenshin."

"For the last time, my **name** is **Shinta**."

I don't have time to think of what that means as I break free from her grasp and slide to my knees on the other side of Kaoru, across from Megumi and Tae. Megumi is gently shaking Kaoru.

"Kaoru. Time to take your medicine. Tsubame made you warm tea."

Kaoru's eyes flutter open, and they're a dull blue as she stares at Megumi.

"Leave me alone. I want to die. I want to be with him..."

**~*~ Kaoru's POV ~*~**

Something dares to shake me out of my sleep -- of my dreams of Shinta when he came to the dojo -- when I fell in love with him -- when we created Kenji. It's the only happiness I have now. I cannot go back to sleep, so I open my eyes and stare up at Megumi, Tae, and further back, Tsubame.

"Leave me alone. I want to die. I want to be with him..."

Megumi lets out a sad sigh, and I see her eyes tear up. My words must have hurt her. She doesn't understand that by letting me die, it's not a loss. It's a celebration. A reunion. I belong with Shinta. That's what a wife is for, isn't it?

"Take your medicine, Kaoru. Kenji needs you here."

Kenji...the image of his father. He's not like Shinta--no, he is more like Kenshin. Perhaps even Battousai. He wants to be strong--and he does not need a weak, ill, grieving woman around to intrude upon his training with Yahiko. These thoughts of mine are interrupted when Megumi and Tae carefully tilt me up so I can swallow some of the medicine, followed by the warm tea Tsubame made for me, and I somehow manage a smile for them. Megumi told me once my smile was the best medicine for Kenshin's scar. But now he's not here. I have no real reason to smile. A shiver runs down my spine and I gasp softly, my eyes widening at the same time. I pull myself to my feet, despite the fact that Megumi, Tae, and Tsubame protest and rush to my aid, and I stare around the room, whirling quickly.

"Shinta...Shinta..."

He's here, but he isn't. My Shinta. No...it can't be. He's dead. In a few hours he'll be rotting beneath the ground covered in sakura.

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**

When Kaoru stands up I try to move to help her, but I feel frozen. I can't move, and I watch as Tae, Megumi, and Tsubame stabalize her.

"Shinta...Shinta..." she says, and I manage a weak smile. I feel tears run down my face.

"What was that you said about my wife?" I ask as I tilt my head towards the figure. I can't see it's face, but I know it's surprised. It finally manages to speak.

"Ne...Ken...Shinta...you've died."

No. Not after all these years. Not when I finally made it home. When I've finally left my past and my sword behind for good. When I can finally spend time with my wife and my son.

"No. I'm alive. Kaoru-dono just proved that."

The figure has no answer. And I have too many questions.

**A/N:** That's all for this chapter. The next chapter I'll be ignoring K/K for a while so I can focus on the other characters... cause I love 'em all and I've ignored them. Twenty points to anyone who can review and let me know if that girl Kenji's with at the end of Seisouhen has an official name -- and Tomoe's fiancee was Kiyosato, ne? Anyway, R/R! For those of you who've mentioned it...yes...there is a happy ending. And possibly a sequel. ^o^  
-- suiren 


	3. The Others

**A/N:** I heart my reviewers! *tosses everyone cookies* You're all so nice... Anyway, let's continue this fic shall we? Standard Disclaimers apply! I promised the other characters in this chapter, and you're going to get them! 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Megumi's POV~*~**

Kaoru's asleep, which is good, because she'll need her rest. We bury Ken-san today. It's not quite dawn yet, and I'm awake, watching her sleep. She is so ill. And so alone. I just hope I can save her from death. That's what good doctors do, right? Save people from dying? Then why do I feel so bad about it?

I wish the rooster was here. Yahiko's become so serious and quiet that nobody gets a laugh around here anymore. Sano could probably cheer me up. But it's no good -- he's gone. I sigh and finish the letter I've been writing. It will be sent to Aoshi and Misao -- I think they need to come here. Maybe seeing Misao will cheer Kaoru up a little. I don't know. If I could write to Sano, I would, but I can't -- for two reasons. I'd probably lose control of myself and write something crazy like _please come back. I need you here._ And, of course, nobody knows where the stupid rooster is. Baka.

The door slides open slightly, enough so that I can see Kenji as he steps inside. He needs to cry, and he hasn't cried yet. He looks so much like Ken-san -- Kaoru must be proud of him. But I bet it hurts too, every time she looks at him. He still has a lot of growing up to do. Yahiko is helping him with that. He sets Kenshin's old reverse blade sword against the wall and sits next to me. I wish he'd cry, instead of holding things inside. Maybe he thinks it's weak to cry -- he's so determined to be stronger than his father. But he's still a boy, and the bottom line is, he needs to cry.

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

Megumi is inside my mother's room. She's been staying in there ever since she's arrived, trying to save my mother's life. But I know something she doesn't.

Okaasan wants to die. I can see it in her eyes every time they open, and I don't understand. She wants to be with that idiot who left us alone so often -- that idiot who came back one last time just to die and cause her even more pain. And what's even worse is she'll chose death with him over life with me. Megumi's a good doctor -- but Kaoru won't get better unless she _wants_ to get better. She doesn't. She wants to leave me...to be with him.

Yahiko has tried to explain my father to me on multiple occassions -- and I...I just don't get it, I guess. All they ever talk about is how great he was.

I promise you, Okaasan, I will be greater. You will be proud of me. You'll love me more than him, because I will be stronger.

I can't stay in this room -- the sickness and sadness is overwhelming, and so before I even say anything to Megumi, I turn around and leave. I see Yahiko and Tsubame leaning against the wall engaged in some sort of quiet talk. I know Okaasan is like a mother to him, too, but at least he has Tsubame to comfort him. I have no one. I step out of the dojo and as I do so I hear Yahiko call after me.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

I don't turn back to face him, and I can feel the coldness of my voice when I reply. It's like a bitter, icy wind. "For a walk."

And then, I'm gone.

**~*~Yahiko's POV~*~**

I've been leaning against this wall outside Kaoru's room for what feels like days, head down, eyes closed, still and silent as death itself...wait...considering the situation, that's not a very good pun. I didn't even notice when Tsubame approached me and placed a hand on my shoulder, and I flinched when she did. She quickly drew her hand away, as if stung by my actions and I sighed softly.

"Gomen, Tsubame."

"How long have you been standing here like this, Yahiko-kun?"

"Since Yesterday."

A frown crosses her beautiful face for a moment and I watch as a familiar figure steps out of Kaoru's room. It's Kenji.

"Where are you going?" I ask him. I can almost feel a cold breeze when he replies without looking at me.

"For a walk."

It's a good thing he can't see the expression on my face, but Tsubame does, and she waits for Kenji to be gone before she speaks.

"Yahiko-kun.."

"Yes?" I ask, glancing back at her. Her eyes are filled with concern.

"I know how important Kenshin and Kaoru are to you." She says softly. "It's...it's okay to...it's okay to cry."

She takes my hands in hers and suddenly I can't hold back my tears anymore. They drift down my face in slow, cool rivers, and I find myself pulling her into a hug as I rest my head on her shoulder. She releases my hands and runs her fingers through my hair, like massaging my head which hurts from holding everything inside for so long. I close my eyes, and we stand that way for a long moment. Were the circumstances better, I probably would have liked the feeling.

"Thank you Tsubame." I murmur finally, opening my eyes and leaning over to lightly kiss her forehead. She smiles up at me.

"Ai..."

She's interrupted by another voice. It's Tae, who walks inside after coming back from Akebeko. She's closed it for the morning because of the funeral. She looks at us with an expression of mild amusement although I can tell she's sad, too. Her expression becomes more serious as she bows her head, and I release Tsubame, realizing how inappropriate we probably look at the moment. She's blushing as she leans against the wall next to me.

"It's time."

Megumi and Kaoru come out of Kaoru's bedroom, and I go to help Megumi guide Kaoru into the main room where we stand in silence. Kenji's not back yet, and Kaoru's face becomes filled with sadness when she notices his absence. I find myself stealing Hiko's phrase: _baka deshi._ My student is causing his mother pain.

It's almost time for the funeral to begin. Kenji better hope he makes it in time...

Megumi has a letter folded up in her hand. I know what it is -- she told me she was going to write it last night. It's to Aoshi and Misao...requesting that they come to visit as soon as possible. It means that Kaoru's not getting any better.

And with Kenji being so stubborn it's quite possible she'll only get worse.

**~*~Sanosuke's POV (YES! The Rooster is in this fic!)~*~**

I wonder if Kenshin survived the trip home. I've almost gotten things wrapped up here, and ever since I've seen him, they've all been on my mind. Kenshin, Kaoru, Yahiko...and especially one foxy doctor named Megumi. Maybe I should try to go back and visit them all, even if it's only for a short while. They are my friends, after all.

Yes. I think I will. I can catch a boat in Shanghai.

_Look out, Kitsune. The rooster's coming home._

**A/N:** Told you I'd devote a chapter to everyone else. Well...except for Tae...and I think you guys can forgive me for that. I hope I've done a good job. It's a little bit depressing, but think of this fic as a "U-shape" and realize that eventually I do plan on getting back up to having everyone happy. This is after all, my attempt at relieving Seisouhen depression! ^_^ See ya next time. Forgive any spelling/grammar errors as I'm writing this basically free-association with no editing and I'm severely crunched for time. See you next chapter!  
-- suiren 


	4. Father's Smile

**A/N:** *mwahs* you people rock-eth. Standard disclaimers, as usual, since I don't own RK or What Dreams May Come, although I'd settle for either. ^_~ 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

I don't understand why everyone thinks _he_ was so great. That man. They all say he was a wonderful person as a Rurouni, and an undefeatable one as a Battousai, but I just don't see it. He left my mother alone and unhappy. How could anyone do that to their wife? He was never here for me. Ever. And he still isn't.

So here I am leaning on the bridge watching the water. I need to head back soon -- it would really hurt my Mother's feelings if I wasn't there to see them bury the one everyone else holds in such high esteem. It's so frustrating. Maybe it's because I never got to know him that I don't understand him the way they all do. Yahiko is like his first son, not me. If he had really thought of me that way wouldn't he have stayed? Did he love me at all? Even just a little?

I look up at the sky which is just beginning to become tinted with hues of pink and gold, barely. I probably still have about thirty minutes before they start. I stare up at the wispy clouds in the sky.

"Did you love me at all?"

**~*~Shinta's POV~*~**

We're not at the dojo anymore, which is strange because I don't remember walking to the bridge and suddenly, here we are. I'm watching my son. I'm so proud of him -- I wish I could have told him that. I know I wasn't there for him, but he doesn't know about my atonement. I don't think anyone ever told him. He looks so much like me, but his eyes remind me of Kaoru...but also as myself when I was his age. He seems sad. Lonely. Angry. All of those things that I used to be. I move closer, along with that stupid annoying blur that follows me around constantly, and I hear him whisper as he stares up at the sky.

"Do you love me at all?"

I feel like he's talking to me, so I answer.

"Yes."

He whirls to face me, and runs into a girl walking down the bridge as he spins, his eyes darting everywhere. They pass directly over me. It's like I'm not even there. I hear him apologize for running into her -- at least Kaoru's taught him some manners even if he's ignoring his own father.

"He can't see you, Shinta."

"Don't you have better things to do with your time than annoy me?"

**~*~Chizuru(the girl at the end of Seisouhen with Kenji)'s POV~*~**

I was on my way home from market when this young man leaning on the rail of the bridge turned and ran directly into me. I guess I should have paid attention. Or maybe I startled him. I don't know exactly, but I stared wide-eyed at him as he looked up at me and apologized. His eyes -- they mirrored mine. Lonely. I put on a smile, and bow my head a little.

"I'm okay. My name is Raikouji Chizuru. Who are you?"

"Kenji Himura."

Himura. The name sounds familiar. I think I heard some people talking about it when I was at Akabeko earlier. It dawns on me rather suddenly -- elder Himura, Kenshin, died; leaving behind his wife Kaoru Himura and his son....his son, Kenji.

So that's why he's so sad. Well, at least we have something in common. Wait. Why do I care if we have something in common? I feel my face turning red so I tilt my head back down to the ground and wait for him to speak.

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

A thick silence settled between Chizuru and I after I said my name, and for some reason I'm both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. I find myself thinking she's pretty and quickly turn my gaze back to the water.

"Your father...is Himura Kenshin, ne?"

She finally broke the silence by asking, and I sighed as I turned my gaze back towards her.

"I don't have a father."

I said coldly, turning around to walk away. She started to trot after me.

"Kenji! Kenji! Matte!"

**~*~Megumi's POV~*~**

Kaoru's resting in a chair with Yahiko and Tsubame standing next to her. When Kenji gets back I think I'll let him know that he's breaking his mother's heart.

**~*~Chizuru's POV~*~**

He halted in his tracks and I walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder awkwardly.

"Want to talk about it?"

His head dipped a little bit and he bit his lip. Another long pause drifted between us before he slowly nodded. That is how I learned the story of Hitokiri Battousai as we walked back to the dojo. I don't understand the feelings of bitterness he holds towards his father -- it sounds like Himura Kenshin was a great and courageous man. But Kenji doesn't really seem to know him that well as a person. He knows all the facts, but he has none of the emotion to liven them with. No personal stories of his own.

"Kenji, what's one memory you have of just you and your father?"

He thought for a moment, and then began a small story.

"One time when he came back from a long trip he was doing laundry outside ((A/N: kekeke)) and I came out to watch him. Mother was teaching. He stopped, and he turned and looked at me, and he smiled at me. It wasn't a normal smile -- not like the ones he smilred around Sanosuke -- or even the ones when Okaasan and Yahiko argued. It was...different. It was like by looking at me he knew things were going to be okay...and...it was full of...well...some sadness.."

His voice cracked a little but gained strength as he continued.

"But...there was pride too...and happiness...and....it was warm...and loving.."

He stared at me, and I noticed his eyes were brimming over with tears. Reaching for his hand I gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. Then his head snapped up towards the sky.

"I don't know why I didn't think of it before.." he murmured. "I have to go! Arigatou, Chizuru-dono."

I smiled, and watched him run away.

_We will meet again, Himura Kenji._

**~*~Kaoru's POV~*~**

He's not coming. My son. Isn't. Coming. To. His. Father's. Funeral.

I bow my head and feel a deep, aching pain in my chest -- the type that won't go away. It's been there since Shinta died, but this is worse. All of a sudden, he's there, my son running towards us all as fast as he can, and the pain fades a little. He looks so much like Shinta, only without the scar. I have high hopes for my son. All mothers do. I manage to smile for him as he arrives, and he gazes at me and apologizes several times. Megumi interrupts in a solemn voice.

"It's time."

I have to admit that my husband could not have been laid to rest in a more peaceful setting -- among the cherry trees with their drifting blossoms, as the sun sank beneath the ground. I just wish I could be with him, wherever he is.

**~*~Shinta's POV~*~**

I watch as most of my family and several friends lower a box into the ground. Kaoru is standing closest to the hole in the dirt beneath the trees, and nearest her is Kenji with the girl from the bridge. On the other side of her and back a little stand Yahiko, and Tsubame, and beyond them I can see Megumi and Tae, among others who make up this small little group. I can tell Kaoru is extremely sad so I move up behind her and place my hand on her shoulder, to reassure her. Her hand slides up to mine, but I feel nothing; and she quickly draws her hand away in a movement that almost resembles horror. Then she screams and begins to sob as she sinks to her knees in front of the open grave.

"Don't you want her pain to end?"

The figure in white asks.

"Who's funeral is this?"

"Yours."

"...oro..."

**~*~Sanosuke's POV~*~**

Shanghai. Finally, I'm here. All that stands between me and my friends is one boat ride. We'll all be together again -- Kenshin, Jou-chan, Yahiko, Kitsune. I'll even get to see Kenji. I'd never admit it, but I'll be damned glad to see them all.

**~*~Shinta's POV, a few days later.~*~**

She's in front of the grave again. My grave. My beautiful, ill Kaoru is here to pray and weep for me. I feel no pain, only hers and the anguish it causes me. I'd do anything to just wrap her in my arms and tell her everything's going to be okay, but as the blurry figure has already informed me, that's impossible.

Kaoru's started sobbing again, and I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. Funny, I didn't know ghosts had watery eyes.

"When does this end?" I ask as I stare down at my wife.

"Whenever you want to stop hurting her."

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, then kneel next to Kaoru.

"I have to go now, Kaoru-dono. I'm sorry I left you. But please know one thing before I leave-- I'll always love you. No matter how far away we are."

She stops crying, and it seems like she heard me. Maybe that's just my imagination though. As I stand up I see a figure leaning against a nearby tree, watching her silently. Kenji. My son.

"I love you too, Kenji. And I'm proud of you. Always."

Then I turn back to the figure in white, and everything fades into warmth and light..

**A/N:** Next chapter we, and by we, I mean "I" reveal who the figure in white is! Yay! I hope I didn't mess things up with Chizuru -- I don't know much about her at all. Continue to read and review, I'll see you lovely people next chapter! Sorry for the slow updates but band's got me really busy right now. Later! ^_^   
-- suiren 


	5. What Belongs

**A/N:** I really didn't want this to be a depressing fic...but remember...it's going to get worse before it gets better. >_< I promise a happy ending! *hands out cookies, milk, and tissues* You people rock...I love reading your reviews, because you're extremely nice to me ^_^. Enough gibberish, let's get on with the story. Standard Disclaimers apply. p> 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

_I love you, too, Kenji. And I'm proud of you. Always._

It's the voice of my Father, either that or my imagination. My mother has stopped crying, but I feel a tear trickle down my cheek and after I'm sure that she's done with her weeping I walk over to her, and hold out a hand. She takes it and I slowly help her back to the dojo. The two of us are silent, alone in our grief. Hers for the love of her life that came back one last time; mine for the father I never got to know. Any way you look at it, we're both alone now.

**~*~Sanosuke's POV~*~**

I'm on the boat. And on my way. Kitsune, Jo-chan, Kenshin, Yahiko-_chan_, I'm coming back. And we're going to have one hell of a party.

**~*~Yahiko's POV~*~**

Kaoru leaves every morning to go to Kenshin's grave and cry for him. Kenji follows her, although he thinks I don't know it because he tries to be sneaky and silent. He's pretty good at it, but I haven't been getting much sleep these past few days anyway so I'm always awake to hear the quiet sounds of his shoes scraping the floor. Tsubame is coming by later today, and I'm glad, because around her things are different. I can't really explain it, it's just that death and sadness still loom over this dojo even though Kenshin is gone. When Tsubame's here, I feel like the weight is lifted from my shoulders, and I see things more clearly. It's like I'm in a dark room before she shows up, and then someone lights a lantern that makes everything visible.

Kenji's coming back with Kaoru, and I can tell she's been weeping again. He looks down before I can really observe his face but I think he's been crying too. I place a hand on each shoulder -- one of his strong, young shoulders, and one of her weakening ones, in an attempt to be reassuring and somehow Kaoru manages to smile for me. Maybe Megumi told her it was good medicine again. I think I'll go by Kenshin's grave before Tsubame comes to visit.

**~*~Shinta/Kenshin's POV~*~**

I wake up like I'm waking from a very good dream, and blink a few times. I've been sleeping, on a mat, in a very familiar room. I stand up and slip my shoes on, sliding the door open, and I come face to face with...the dojo.

Kaoru's dojo, only it's perfect and clean and in excellent condition -- this is what it must have looked like before her father died and she lost the students. I find myself standing in awe, listening to the silence. But if this is Kaoru's dojo -- then where is...

I hear the sound of footsteps outside and bound to the porch to come face to face with...

...

**Tomoe.**

"Tomoe?"

She smiles, and it's not like most of the smiles I've ever seen her smile with. Her old smiles were sad and small, but this one radiates with warmth and happiness I never saw her have during life.

"Hai, Kenshin."

She bows a little, white kimono swaying gently in the breeze which plays with her hair. Tomoe -- she's always been so beautiful, and so elegant, and I'm glad to see her.

"You were there."

"Hmm?" She asked, blinking as she faced me.

"All the time. Back..at the dojo...and the funeral."

She nodded a little. "Yes. That was me."

Cherry blossoms from a nearby tree brush past her face and she laughs as she stares at her surroundings, gazing wide-eyed as she spins, slowly, in a circle.

"Wow."

I'm a little confused at the apparent surprise in her voice.

"Oro?"

"Of all the places you could have picked for heaven, Himura Kenshin.." She said softly, stepping into the dojo, "You picked this place. Why?"

"I belong here. It's home. You can call me Shinta, you know."

"The man I knew was Kenshin. The man who is here...perhaps he is Kenshin, perhaps he isn't; but Shinta is not my name for him. That name belongs to his wife."

**~*~Yahiko's POV~*~**

I kneel next to the grave that holds Kenshin's body, alone with my thoughts. I let my fingers brush a little bit of the dirt, and close my eyes. Someone told me once that the dead can still hear you when you speak to them.

"Kenshin."

My voice is weak at first, but I close my eyes and organize my thoughts.

"We all really miss you, Kenshin."

This isn't working. I sound stiff, and not like myself. Gah!

"DAMNIT! Why'd you have to leave us?!"

I press both hands against the ground and squeeze my eyes shut.

"You were like a father to me....why'd you have to leave?"

A gentle hand touches my shoulder and as I turn to see who it is, I'm greeted by Tsubame's gentle face. She kneels next to me.

"Megumi said I would find you here. I know how much you miss him, Yahiko-kun."

"He was like my father..." I find myself repeating, voice cracking a little with the grief I'm trying to repress. I want to be strong in front of Tsubame. She reaches over to hug me and my eyes widen.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Yahiko."

I bury my head against her shoulder, letting the tears escape. She sits silently for a moment, patting my back and letting her fingers drift through my hair. When I look up, her eyes were filled with tears.

"I miss him too, Yahiko-kun."

I pull her closer, whispering in her ear.

"Aishiteru, Tsubame."

She lets out a slight gasp, probably of grief and joy combined.

"Aishiteru, Yahiko-kun."

**~*~Aoshi's POV~*~**

I unfold the letter and read it silently, with Misao jumping up and down behind me to try to read it over my shoulder. Even though she's my wife, and I love her madly, the woman has too much damn energy sometimes.

"Kenshin's dead." I murmur softly. She stops jumping as I turn around and hand her the letter Megumi wrote.

"Poor Kaoru.." she whispers, and then she draws close to me, almost glomping me with a very tight hug. "We're going to see them, right?"

I do my best to keep my face emotionless.

"Hai."

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

My mother's sleeping, so I pick up my father's reverse blade sword and step past Megumi. She looks tired.

"Get some rest, Megumi. I'm going for a walk. My mother will be okay for a while."

She nods sleepily -- I know she hasn't slept much in the past few days, like the rest of us, and looking after my mother is difficult. I wait outside the door, listening to my Mother's ragged breathing. Then it dawns on me: Megumi is crying. She thinks I'm gone, but I hear her whisper.

"Sano.."

It becomes silent in the room, except for their duet of breath, and I leave the dojo. I go past the cherry trees and almost to the bridge, where I sit on the river bank and watch the sunset by myself. I try to focus only on the red setting sun and the golden clouds, try to clear my mind, try to break free of the lonliness that binds us all back at the dojo. Eventually my eyes close and I sink into meditation.

When I open them I am aware of a figure sitting next to me, just as calm and silent as I am trying to be, almost radiating tranquility. 

"Chizuru-dono."

**~*~Kaoru's POV~*~**

I wake from a restless sleep and notice Megumi curled up a few feet away. Good. She should probably get some rest, I know it's been hard on her. I'm a stubborn patient, especially now that I've resigned myself to an extended death: life without Shinta. I get up and step past Megumi, noticing a pouch sitting next to her on the floor.

Her medicine pouch. I pick it up and step outside silently. Nobody else is home -- Yahiko is probably out with Tsubame, and Kenji...if I know my son, he's trying to clear his mind, trying to focus and be strong. That's one thing Kenji and Yahiko share that reminds me of Kenshin: strength. In body, mind, and character. Kenji will grow up to be a good, strong man. I know this.

I am his mother. I know this.

**A/N:** Yes, yes, it was Tomoe all along! The next two chapters, just to warn you all, are going to be by far the most depressing and tear-jerking chapters of this story if I pull them off right. I feel that this is one of the weaker chapters in this arc so far so I may go back and edit it. After that I'll have it all resolved, with perhaps an epilogue...and maybe even a sequel. Yes. A sequel. Don't ask how, but if you want to talk it over with me, catch me on AIM as "rainonyourday". 


	6. You Don't Know Us

**A/N:** Standard disclaimers apply. I have some notes to individual reviewers at the bottom of this one. Sorry for the delay in updates, but I'm in marching band and it's taking up a ton of time >_< p> 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Chizuru's POV~*~**

"Chizuru-dono." He says, fixing his gaze onto me. I'm brought out of my thoughts by the sound of Kenji's voice and I turn to smile at him, blushing a little.

"Just Chizuru, please, Himura-san."

"Kenji." He says softly.

"Kenji." I repeat his name softly under my breath, then tilt my head at him. "Why are you here?"

He doesn't reply for a moment, and I place a hand on his back, noticing how sad he looks as he gazes down at the water. I think I see a solitary tear trickle down his cheek, but maybe it was a trick of the dim, post-sunset light. He looks up at me and shakes his head.

"Because I can't stand to be home...death's not finished yet." He murmurs, closing his eyes. "My mother is fading, Chizuru...and Megumi can't help her."

"Kenji...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. I don't really want to think about it right now. Let's just sit here for now, okay?" He asks, leaning back onto the grass to look up at the stars which are starting to barely show themselves.

"Aa." I reply quietly, leaning back to lay next to him. 

**~*~Kaoru's POV~*~**

I'm sitting by Shinta's grave looking at the pouch in my hands. My fingers tremble as I gaze inside and calmly shift through Megumi's various medicines.

"You came back for me, Shinta, and now I'm coming for you.."

I murmur, looking down at the grave. Gods, what am I thinking? He's dead. Gone. He can't hear me. I let out a loud sob and hurl the medicine pouch away from me, burying my face in my hands to weep, like I've done for so many nights when they all think I'm asleep. I must have stayed like that for a while before I wiped my eyes, stood up slowly, and retreived Megumi's bag. I've made up my mind.

I go back and sit next to Shinta's grave, then I reach into Megumi's pouch and pull out the small flask that has the medicine she's given me in it. I tilt my head to gaze at it...but my gaze has moved beyond the flask and to the trees beyond it.

Yes. I've made up my mind.

**~*~Sano's POV~*~**

Yes! I'm on the boat. I finally caught a glimpse of what I look like and realized that my personal hygiene at the moment will scare Megumi away faster than it will attract her, so I got a haircut and shaved. I'm starting to look like the old Sano. I even slipped some Sake from the boat's supply and found a fishbone to chew on. If she doesn't recognize me, I might have to punch her.

And then kiss her. Yeah.

In my mind I make a list of things to do, places to go, people to see, and I feel a smile spread across my face. Two days til Japan.

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**

Tomoe left me to get better associated with my little version of heaven, and now I'm doing laundry -- for some reason there's even laundry to do here. I stop and look back at the dojo and realize this is how the Kamiya dojo must have looked back in its glory days, before Kaoru was having to teach at other schools to earn enough money. It's nice here, and calm, and peaceful, but it's not the same without Kaoru here. Kind of lonely, actually, without anyone to talk to. But Tomoe said she'd come back and bring a visitor.

True to her word, I hear the sounds of two pairs of feet approaching. One of them belongs to Tomoe, and I smile at her as she steps up to me, walking next to a young man whose face looks oddly familiar.

"Kenshin, I'd like you to meet Akira."

Akira. The name hits me like a sack of bricks as I realize this is the man I killed. This is how I stole Tomoe's happiness. He looks at me and I feel like understanding passes between us although no words have been spoken. Kiyosata Akira. I would like to talk to him alone for a moment, to tell him I'm sorry for stealing his happiness, for stealing Tomoe's happiness; to tell him I spent my life trying to atone. But I can tell by looking at him that he knows. I can't bring myself to speak, and he smiles suddenly.

"Hello, Kenshin."

When I'm still too shocked to respond, I can hear his voice in my head...

_I forgive you._

They stay long enough to keep me company, and eventually I realize that in life, I could have been friends with Kiyosata-san, or Akira as he insists I call him. It is a shame what war does to men. They leave me alone in the tranquillity of the dojo, and I sit against the wall, thinking of Kaoru, and of my son.

**~*~Megumi's POV~*~**

I wake from a nightmare to find myself alone in Kaoru's room. She's gone! How could she have gathered the strength to go out on her own? Quickly I stand and stretch, slipping my shoes on. It's then that I notice my medicine pouch is gone.

But that's not important. I need to find Kaoru and make sure she's okay.

I know where she would go because it's where I would go in the same situation, so I head for Kenshin's grave at an all out run, as fast as my legs will carry me. As I near the grove of trees we buried him in I see her figure, resting on the ground. I quicken my pace to catch up to her. She probably needs to be comforted, because between this grief and her illness I know she's slowly fading away. She shouldn't have to deal with this alone.

When I get closer I decide she's fallen asleep, and I rush up to her to help her up, reaching for her arm. Her hands, however, are cold as ice. Sitting at her feet is my empty medicine bag and several empty flasks.

"No..."

**"KAORU!!!!!!"**

And that's when I lost it.

**~*~Yahiko's POV~*~**

Tsubame and I had gone back to the small flat that used to belong to Sano. I didn't want to go back to the dojo -- it held too much sadness. For the most part we sat there just talking, or correction, me just talking, because I feel comfortable pouring my heart out to her in a way I've never felt with anyone else. I hadn't realized so much time had passed until I looked out the window.

"I should go. I don't want Kaoru, Kenji, and Megumi to be worried."

Tsubame nods, and I kiss her forehead as we head back to the dojo. I have to pass by the trees and the grave on the way, and that's when I hear Megumi scream.

**"KAORU!!!!!!"**

No. Not now...

I run to find Megumi at Kenshin's grave, Kaoru's limp body resting over the doctor's lap as she tried over and over again to revive her. She stared up at me with tearfilled eyes.

"Y-Yahiko-kun...Gomen...I-I... couldn't save her."

Megumi's burst into tears again and I sink slowly to my knees, taking one of Kaoru's hands in mine.

_"Busu.."_ I murmur, using that old nickname. "You too...You left us.."

I feel Tsubame's arms slip around my shoulders and lean into the warmth as the three of us sit silent with our grief. I've lost another mentor.

And Kenji's lost another parent.

When Megumi comes to her senses she explains that Kaoru took her medicine bag and then overdosed in order to cause her own painless death. We agree to keep this from Kenji to protect his mother's honor. It's our secret now, a burden I will bear silently until I am placed in my own grave. I know Megumi and Tsubame will do the same, for the sakes of both Kaoru and Kenji. I know what it's like to lose parents...I just wish I knew what to do to help him.

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**

To my surprise Tomoe and Akira come running into the dojo, sliding to a halt in front of me.

"Kenshin...news..." Tomoe murmurs between breaths. She never was much of a runner. Akira seems to have himself in a better state of mind and can speak without having to gasp for breath.

"Kaoru has died, Kenshin."

At first I feel overwhelming sadness, but then it dawns on me...if she's died, and I'm dead, then we should be able to see eachother.

"Then she's here, right?! Can I see her?! When can I see her?!"

Akira closes his eyes and looks away.

"Never."

I feel like I've been kicked sharply in the stomach. All my air is gone and I can hardly breathe as I stare at him in shock. Tomoe attempts to explain.

"She's commited suicide, Kenshin. She violated the natural cycle of life."

I feel anger building up inside of me as I stare at both of them, and I'm certain my eyes are slowly turning amber.

"Are. you. saying. that. my. wife. went. to. hell. because. she. died. to. be. with. me?" I ask coldly. Tomoe looks away and Akira manages to answer.

"You don't understand. Suicides go somewhere else."

"Then I'll have to get her and see her there."

"You can't." Akira responds automatically. "You don't get it! You'll never see her again, Kenshin. That's the way it is."

"Tomoe told me I'd never communicate with her again and I managed that. You don't know us, Akira."

We stare eachother down for a while, my golden gaze fixed on him.

_"You don't know us."_

**A/N:** Righty... time to put up responses to people who have kindly left me reviews.

For those of you who have left reviews asking about my thoughts on a sequel... I'm considering reincarnation but I will -not- write another "kenshingumi in highschool" fanfic to match all the others out there. If you *really* want to know what I'm considering please email me (faith@o-keiko.com) or talk to me on AOL: rainonyourday . Time for notes to individual reviewers, in no particular order.

_Jason M. Lee_ Thanks for your constructive criticism -- you know much more about Japanese culture than I do ~_~;; As for the -dono used by Kenji in the last chapter, I did that on purpose, because I wanted to give him some "Kenshin-isms" in his character.  
_Dark Maylee_ Are you sure that's cranberry juice? ^_~ Thanks for your kind reviews!  
_EK_ I thought about slipping Enishi into this fic, but I wouldn't know what to do with him in either Earth or Heaven or Hell, so I have... erm... left him out. >_ _Ming-Chan_ Thanks for reviewing -- I'm so glad to see some of the same people coming back for each chapter... it means I've succeeded in hooking you! mwahaha! ^_^  
_Raziel the Reaver_ Don't worry, Akira's in here.   
_gracianeko_ You're too kind... lots of people use POV much better than I can. >_ _Skipper_ Yeah...I didn't want it to be this angsty, but it'll resolve in the end. I promise ^_^  
_tenshineko_ Yes...Sano's in for a bit of a rough time -- but I'm sure Megumi can make him all better... *fox ears pop up from behind Author's head* hey! where did those come from?!  
_Firefury_ Thanks...I have a hard time getting into certain character's POV's.. it is hard, and I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job!  
_TheAnomally_ Thanks. I hope I'm staying true to my style.  
_Pia-Chan_ I hope I give them what they deserve.   
_okashira_ Hopefully the end of this will make you undepressed. ^_^  
_Mia-chan_ Thanks, I hope I'm staying true to all of the characters and their feelings like you said...

I think that's everyone! Thank you all... and if I forgot anyone feel free to beat me over the head with a frying pan. 

--suiren 


	7. Distant Shores

**A/N:**Are you as tired of reading these as I am of writing them? I don't own Kenshin or this movie. ~_~;; 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**  
_"You don't know us."_

Tomoe frowned thoughtfully.

"Kenshin...this isn't like any battle you've fought before. It's not a physical battle. In hell there is real danger."

"Of what?" I ask coldly.

"Of losing your mind."

I feel a frown crossing my face as I fix my amber gaze upon both of them. "Right now, there are only two things I need from each of you."

Tomoe sighed. "What might those be?"

"A guide, and a katana."

Akira glared at me. "I'll be your guide, damnit. We'll go and you can say your goodbyes. But when I tell you to leave, we're getting out of there."

"We'll see about that when we get there." I replied. "Let's go."

**~*~Sanosuke's POV~*~**  
Here I am, standing in front of the dojo, but for some reason I feel afraid to go in. I don't know why, but things don't seem the same. Something's missing.

_Who am I kidding? My friends are all inside._

I step inside, and the first person I see is Megumi. She's been crying, and as I look around the room at all the astonished faces staring at me blankly, I realize that two very important ones are missing. Kenshin and Kaoru.

Megumi looks up at me, and I hold my arms out for her. She stands up, staring at me in shock.

"Kitsune."

She runs to me, and I wrap my arms around her.

"Rooster..."

"Shh...it's okay. I'm here now."

**~*~Yahiko's POV~*~**  
Sanosuke's back. I'm glad to see him -- now Megumi has someone to lean on and help her through all this sadness. I have Tsubame, and she has me.

Now Megumi has Sano. 

But what about Kenji? Who will help him once he comes home to an empty house.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of a figure entering the dojo. Two, actually, and I look up to see Aoshi and Misao.

**~*~Aoshi's POV~*~**  
We walked in on a completely silent dojo filled with sadness, and I blinked as I saw Megumi weeping onto a shoulder that looked completely familiar.

"Sanosuke. You're back." I observe calmly. Megumi looks up, and stares at my wife.

"Misao... Kaoru's...she's...gone..." The pretty doctor says between sobs as she clutches onto Sanosuke's shoulders. He has a pained and darkened expression on his face, too. It's at times like this that I am glad I can keep my face impassive.

My wife, on the other hand, cannot, and she turns towards me, wrapping slender arms around my waist to sob into my chest. It hurts me to see her hurting, but I guess I'm not that good at showing it. I place a hand on her shoulder and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"It's okay."

Megumi sniffles and gazes up at me, frustrated.

"How the hell do you know?!" She asks, breaking out, and I feel all of her emotions release towards me in an explosion of anger, failure, and frustration.

"Just because you couldn't save them doesn't mean they aren't happy." I said calmly.

"What?" Yahiko asks, confused.

"Kenshin doesn't know how to fail. I doubt the afterlife is the place he'll learn."

Misao tightens her grip on my shirt, and I lean over to kiss her forehead. In a while she'll go back to being cheerful; looking after the others, hiding her own pain behind a mask of happiness. It's then that I'll be truly there for her. I'm her rock.

I'm her Aoshi. It's all I can be.

**~*~Sanosuke~*~**

I hate to admit it, but the guy has a point. I try to soothe Megumi, by rubbing my hands on her back, but she doesn't seem to want to calm down.

"You did all you could do, Megumi. Nobody blames you. It was their time."

"How would you know, Sanosuke?! You weren't here! You weren't here when I needed you!"

She pulls away from me, running away, and I look at Yahiko.

"You should go after her."

I nod, chewing thoughtfully on a fishbone as I leave the dojo. Aoshi and Misao can look after things for a while.

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

I don't want to sit up and leave Chizuru, but I know I should be going home. I don't want the others to be worried. She looks over at me, lying amongst the grass.

"I need to get home, Chizuru."

"Would you like me to go with you?" She asks softly. I gaze at her for a moment, wondering what it is about her presence that is so soothing. Silence ensues.

"Hai."

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**

Akira wouldn't give me a sword, but I found one, oddly enough, in the dojo. Reverse blade, but that's okay -- why would I kill anything that's already in hell? That's punishment enough.

Besides, I don't want bloodstained hands in the afterlife too.

Tomoe stayed behind because Akira wouldn't let her come with us, and now he and I are riding in a small boat. I guess that's the way it works here, or at least the way it's working for us at the moment, because we're passing through a channel that looks something like a huge library. I can see where it opens out at the end to a rough ocean, waves crashing everywhere, and lightning crashing in the sky.

It doesn't scare me, because I know Kaoru's on the other side. Akira told me I needed to keep thinking about her -- apparently my thoughts serve as some sort of beacon he can track.

I find that ironic...because what else would I be thinking about? Kaoru's my soulmate. I won't let us be separated again.

We get out into the stormy, stormy waters, and I shiver involuntarily in the cold air as the small boat rocks in the huge waves. Akira stays calm, staring impassively ahead -- I can't help but get the impression that he doesn't believe me. That or he thinks I deserve to be alone because I took Tomoe's happiness. But I don't think he's that petty.

The boat rocks in another giant swell and suddenly hands grip all edges. Icy cold hands of lost souls cling to our boat as if it were a small island promising safety, and before I know it, we've tipped over, and I plunge into the cold, swirling water.

The next thing I know, Akira and I are standing on a rocky shore with waves crashing into it. The sight in front of me is bleak: a huge ship, all in flames, with people on all decks. I can read the letters on the side.

**Cerebus**

"The gate to hell." Akira comments cooly. I feel my eyes narrow as we start towards it.

**A/N:** Ooo! Only a few more chapters...We begin the upward path to resolution. This chapter may be edited later -- I wrote it in a hurry. Gomen. I hope I don't let any of you down. ~_~   
--suiren 


	8. Alone in a Sea of Faces

**A/N:** If I owned Kenshin or this movie, I wouldn't be a poor highschool student. I'd be a rich one. Yeesss... very rich. Sadly, I can't even pay my hockey league fees. >_< p> 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

As I walk into the dojo with Chizuru, Megumi storms past me, head down, tears racing down her cheeks like so many drops of rain in a November storm. 

"Megumi?"

She doesn't answer and a few moments later a man chewing on a fishbone walks past us. I blink rapidly and hurry inside, where I'm greeted by Aoshi, Misao, Yahiko, and Tsubame.

"Where is my mother?"

They all avoid my gaze, except for Aoshi who looks up calmly. His voice is flat when he speaks, with no reassurance.

"Your mother passed away today, Kenji."

Those words make everything around me fade away into a haze, and I struggled to stand, but I feel weak.

_I'm a warrior, damnit. I'm stronger than this._

My knees, however, prove otherwise, and I fall to the floor. Chizuru kneels next to me and I rest my head weakly against her shoulder. Misao and Yahiko move up to me, kneeling also to look me in the eyes.

"At least she's not in pain anymore, Kenji."

"Misao has a point. I'm sure she's in a better place."

"I wanted...to say...goodbye...and tell her..." I murmur slowly. I'm sure Chizuru thinks I sound like an idiot because of the pauses between my words.

"She knows, Kenji, she knows." Whispers the pretty girl as she pats my back reassuringly. Slowly I find the strength to stand, and I head towards my room.

"Where are you going, Kenji?!" Yahiko asks, surprised.

"Someone has to tell Hiko..."

**~*~Kenshin's POV~*~**

I start walking up to the ship with Akira by my side and pretty soon we stand at its gates. The whole place is a haze of flame and smoke and smells of both brimstone and blood. Even the people, on all decks, are surrounded by flame and appear to be a combination of humans and skeletons, as if their lives were brought back halfway through decay. Akira grits his teeth and takes a step forward, and I watch his eyes widen as he begins to stumble forward. Suddenly, I'm struck by an odd flashback.

_Kenshin and Kaoru are seen sitting in some grass, on a warm spring day with a light breeze. Kenshin reclines against a tree, he is resting and still wounded from his battle with Shishio, and they sit silently enjoying eachother's company until Kaoru speaks._

"I'm glad you came back, Kenshin."

"Me too, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin replies.

"I didn't want to be alone again.." she murmurs, plucking nervously at the soft strands of grass. "I don't think I could handle it."

"Why is that, Kaoru-dono? I would always come back to you and protect you." Kenshin says after a moment of thought.

"My idea of hell...is being alone in this world...without my friends..or my family.."

She doesn't add the unspoken words, but they linger in Kenshin's mind.

**My friends... or my family...or you...**

"I would never leave you alone, Kaoru."

I snap out of it, and realize Akira is now walking blindly into the ship filled with people and sinners, being surrounded and swallowed up by them. I charge after him, realizing that there's no way in hell -- no pun intended -- that I'm going to let Tomoe lose her happiness twice.

"NO, AKIRA!! SHE'S NOT IN THERE!"

I grab his shoulders roughly and force him back towards the entrance while becoming quickly surrounded by the people onboard the ship. I manage to fend them off until I too can make it out of the gate. Those few moments on the ship were pure insanity, and I gaze at Akira wide-eyed as he stands next to another, smaller gate, leading to some sort of primative elevator.

"In hell, there's real danger. Of losing your mind." He murmurs, stepping onto the platform. I follow him. "Going down."

**~*~Yahiko's POV~*~**

"Kenji."

"Don't argue with me. I'm going." He says, standing up, and he brushes past me to gather his things. I see the girl stare after his back and it almost makes me smile.

_Tsubame used to look at me like that...I never noticed it before._

"Excuse me miss...but who are you?"

She snaps out of it and looks up at me with a small smile.

"Raikouji Chizuru."

We in turn introduce ourselves ((A/N--you know the names, people. geez.)) and I find myself doing something that could be considered a Kenshin-ism. I'm glad his personality rubbed off on me, even if I'm not worthy.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, please?"

She nods and we quickly excuse ourselves, and I smile at Tsubame, indicating for her to come too -- leaving Aoshi and Misao alone.

"Have a seat." I say once we get outside, and I lean against the wall Kenshin-style as I sit across from her. Tsubame kneels at my side and I reach for her hand, letting its gentle warmth continue to comfort me.

"I'm glad that Kenji has found a friend in you." I start off, and she blushes a little bit, bowing her head -- girls seem to think that hides the redness, but really, it doesn't. 

"No, really." I say sincerely, and she looks up at me. Words seem to come from me from nowhere. "He's going to have a rough time with things for a while, feeling like he's all alone and the world's against him. He has great potential, and great strength, but he won't be able to control it with all these emotions whirling around him. The more he holds it in, the worse it will be. He might lash out at others in anger because he'll feel it's unfair -- I know I do -- I would have given my life to keep Kenshin and Kaoru alive to live to a happy old age. But fortunately," I pause, and look over at Tsubame, "I have someone close to me who can be there for me. Kenji, if he doesn't let anyone close to him, will be like a sword without a sheath."

I feel surprisingly serious, wondering where I got this analogy from, and pause for breath.

"Will you be his sheath?"

She stares at me blankly for a moment, and then nods with a shaky voice. "H-hai. Demo...my parents won't let me go with him..."

"No...he needs to make that trip on his own. When he gets back though.."

She nods. "Yes. I'll be there for him."

I smile. "Good."

**~*~Sanosuke's POV~*~**

Damn that fox! No other woman's had me out searching like this for her before.

Then again, there aren't any with Megumi's legs, either.

I snicker at the thought and continue searching, finding her standing beneath a cherry tree in front of a grave. Kenshin's grave. I listen to her talk to herself for a moment.

"Ken-san...I'm so sorry...I couldn't stay awake...and she killed herself...I didn't stop her. I..It's...my fault."

"You're not very wise for a fox, you know that?"

She turns around and fixes a crimson glare on me, and I shoot her a soft smile.

"Megumi." I say quietly, surprised I didn't use the normal nickname, and I can tell she is too, because her eyes widened slightly. "They're in a better place."

"How do you know?"

I shrugged. "I just do, Megumi. That's the best answer I can give you."

"It's not very comforting." She muttered between tears, and I reach up to wipe the tears away from her face.

"The best comfort doesn't come in words, Megumi."

She stares at me, and I pull her towards me quickly, taking advantage of her silence in a sudden embrace. She starts to sob into my shoulder, and I let her do so until she's gotten it all out -- and gotten my shirt more than a little wet. I tilt her face up to look into her eyes.

"I know I wasn't here when you needed me, Kitsune," I say, watching her eyes narrow at the old nickname as I hurry to continue, "But I'm here for you now."

I lean over and brush my lips gently against hers, fully expecting to get slapped or yelled at or teased for stupidity, but it's worth it. To my surprise, she leans into me and reluctantly draws away for breath.

"Aishiteru, fox."

"Aishiteru, rooster."

I shoot her a weak smile, which she returns, and we head back to the dojo. My grief for Kenshin is lightened, and perhaps hers is too -- not because the burden is any less, but because we share the weight with eachother.

**~*~Misao's POV~*~**

I'm left alone with Aoshi-sama and as I look up at him, I catch the smile he has in his eyes -- it's hard to get him to smile normally, but if you know what you're looking for you can find it in the way he looks at you when he's happy or amused. This smile though, was a weak one -- one just for me, for my sake alone, because I see right through it to the sadness beneath.

"Aoshi-sama.."

"What?"

I lean into him, resting my head against my husband's broad, strong chest. "It'll be okay."

I think he smiled for real that time, even if for just a fleeting moment, and he pulled me close.

"Yeah, Misao, it will."

"As long as I have you with me."

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV, because author needs a break from waff.~*~**

We step off at a floor made entirely of a sea of faces, crowded together. Some weep, some complain, still others stand silent. I thought hell was going to be warm, but it's cold here, and gray. The faces merge against eachother and I have no idea how to find Kaoru in this mess as my golden eyes flicker from face to face.

I step off, trying to avoid the people who moan and groan with every step I make.

"Son?! Son! It's you!"

I hear someone exclaim and I look down at the man below me.

"Father...?"

The face is unfamiliar and he blinks and shakes his head. I'm not his son.

"No...that bastard ran away years ago."

He mutters, calling Akira his son too as the other man passes. My thoughts go back to Kaoru, and I'm struck by another flashback.

_"Kenshin...come with me to the festival!" Kaoru whines, pouting in front of him. "Yahiko and Sanosuke are being stupid!"_

Kenshin looks up at her, staring at the girl who quickly was becoming a woman, and an irresistible one, in front of his eyes.

"Why? You'll have fun on your own."

"I don't like being by myself. It's like being **alone in a sea of faces**."

"Very well, Kaoru-dono. I'll accompany you."

My eyes flash open and my golden gaze locks onto a dirty, tear stained face many feet away. It's Kaoru, pale and miserable, and sad...but it's my Kaoru and that's all that matters. I hear Akira yell at me.

"No, Kenshin! Wait!"

But my feet have already sprung into action, carrying me with superhuman speed to her. Two steps away, something completely unexpected happens. The ground gives way beneath my feet. I extend my arms towards Kaoru, but it does no good, I am falling, falling..

"KAORU-DONO!!!"

**A/N:** Lotsa mushiness, but at least I left you with a cliffhanger. *cackles*   
--suiren 


	9. Give Up Forever

**A/N:** I don't own Kenshin. I don't own What Dreams May Come. I do, however, own a pair of shoelaces and a slice of cheese which I'll share with you if you review my story. ^_~ 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**

Crunch. Bounce. Smash.

I didn't know you could break bones in the afterlife.

I find myself falling, falling down and finally landing hard against a gray stone wall, which slopes softly until the bottom -- a wide, smooth gray pit, impassive and oppressive at the same time with its mouth open and ready to swallow idiots like me who stumble right into it.

Yet there, in the center, is a ghastly but familiar sight.

The dojo.

It looks nothing like the one I've been staying in in my own private Heaven, but its our dojo all the same -- only now I find myself gazing at it when its at its worst. Everything is gray tone, the trees are bare, the roof needs repair, and dust covers everything. Nothing around it holds a spark of life. Akira lands next to me, in a much more graceful manner since he knew what was coming and shoots me something of a death glare, like it's my fault we've ended up in a huge depressing pit in some side section of hell.

Oh wait. It _is_ my fault.

He looks over at me coldly.

"This is what you came for. And now I have to tell you the hard part."

I turn my amber eyes towards him impatiently.

"Go in. See her. Say your goodbyes. But then you have to leave her. She will not recognize you, Kenshin, and if you stay -- you will be lost to hell just like she is. And neither of you will know eachother."

I frown a little. "It doesn't work that way."

"You are overconfident, Battousai. Your woman will not know you."

"You don't know us."

I step away from him and head towards the dojo.

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

As soon as the dojo was out of my sight I began to run, bursting forth with all my strength and all my speed, letting my legs carry me away from home as fast as they've ever carried me before. Tears sting my cheeks like ice as I close my eyes and run blindly, letting my feet carry me. They know the way.

I don't like leaving the others behind. But I can't stay there if I can't control myself.

It's late when I finally reach Hiko's, and I see the man sitting next to a fire drinking sake with an expression that I can't quite fathom. It's sad...but it's calm, too. I slow down to gather my breath and begin to walk towards him.

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's POV~*~**

I step inside the dojo slowly and cautiously step inside.

"Kaoru-dono?"

I look around and a small shaft of light falls on messy, silver-streaked black hair, belonging to a small woman sitting in the corner. She raises her head and a pale face, with darkened and empty blue pools of eyes that normally sparkle like sapphires dotted with night's stars lock onto mine.

"Who's there...? Who are you?"

Akira is right, then. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"A neighbor. Do you have any tofu?"

She stands up and begins trying to wipe dust away, to make the place presentable, and I can see she's been crying.

"No...I haven't gone to the market." She says apologetically, eyes nervously focusing everywhere but on me. "You see, since all the students left me... I haven't had enough money to get things like I used to... and my friends are all gone too.."

"Your friends? Like who?" I ask, trying to fathom just how much she does remember.

"My top student... and a doctor friend, and my husband's friend... and..."

"Your husband? What happened to him?"

"He died...far far away... and left me alone...he broke a promise.."

So. Her version of hell states that I never came home, that I died far far away, and broke my promise to return.

"I don't think he'd do something like that."

She dodges the question. "And the dojo needs repair...but I'm getting so old and there's nobody to help anymore... and nobody wants to train with me." She says, looking around nervously.

"Kaoru. Look at me."

Her eyes lock on mine and she looks away again. "So no. I don't have your tofu. You should go."

"Kaoru."

"GET OUT!"

"No."

**~*~Hiko's POV~*~**

"Himura Kenji. Son of my baka deshi." I state flatly. "What brings you here?"

He approaches quickly and bows.

"I have some bad news.."

I take a sip of sake and frown -- the taste is bitter.

"Well, out with it then."

"My parents...they've..passed away."

_Baka Deshi. I'm supposed to die before he does._

"I see. And thus ends Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu."

"You aren't going to pass it on?" He asks, somewhat disappointed.

"No. I'm not." I say abruptly. He frowns.

"Am I not as strong as him? Not good enough?"

"No. Stronger." I say with a slight frown. "But Yahiko showed you an even stronger style, I believe. You should stick with that path."

"Perhaps.."

**~*~Kenshin/Shinta's PoV~*~**

"Please...leave me alone." She whispers, voice broken and veiled in sadness.

"I promised you I'd never do that."

"No! Only one person's ever promised that... and he couldn't keep his promise!" She yells, sobbing as she throws the nearest object, a bokken, at me. Well at least some things don't change...it hit me right between the eyes. I sigh, and frown a little.

"Goodbye, Kaoru."

She makes no reply as I step outside. Akira looks at me with that told-you-so look some people get when they think they're right.

"I was losing it." I admit slowly, and he starts to open his mouth to say something but I interrupt. "Tell Tomoe I said goodbye. Tell her to enjoy her happiness with you."

"You can't possibly mean that --"

"Oh...I do. And I will. And I am."

" -- you're going to give up heaven for that girl." He finishes, staring at me blankly. I shoot him the rurouni smile and head back inside, kneeling next to Kaoru. Already I can feel my grip on sanity sliding.

"Kaoru. I don't have much time so I just wanted to tell you a few things. I don't want you to be sad anymore -- it's not your fault you're so great that a guy would give up heaven just to be with a girl like you. You're beautiful...and you were my redemption in life, so I will try to be yours in the afterlife. I'll keep my promise to you, because I'm not going to be alone. If I can't help you... maybe the best thing I can do is join you. In a few moments, I doubt I'll remember you though...so before that happens..._I love you._"

I close my eyes, and slip into the darkness.

**~*~Kaoru's POV -- yes yes, the moment you've all been waiting for~*~**

My eyes widen, and I feel like I've broken free of a horrible nightmare. Shinta's kneeling next to me and I feel my heart skip a beat.

"Shinta! Shinta! Look at me!"

His head tilts as he glances over at me.

"Ma'am..? Who are you?"

"No...Shinta..."

**A/N**: Sorry for the lack of updates. School's been mad busy, and I have band and hockey to deal with. I'm thinking one more chapter, plus a preview for what I'm thinking in ways of a sequel. Dun dun dun! Reviews, people. I heart you all. ^_^

-- suiren 


	10. A Love Before Time

**A/N:** I do not own Kenshin, What Dreams May Come, or Seisouhen. ::meeps:: don't sue suiren-chan! She needs her money for food after hockey games! 

What Dreams May Come

by Suiren

**~*~ Kenji's POV ~*~**

"Perhaps."

I murmur, closing my eyes in thought. Yes.

Yes, I will go back and I will master the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu style Yahiko uses. I will become stronger than my father -- without becoming like him.

After all...I would rather protect than kill. I would have liked to protect my mother.

_I bet you'd like to protect Chizuru, too.._

That little inner voice inside of me snickered from the back of my mind. I rolled my eyes and swatted my conscience away as I thanked Hiko, and left the master by himself.

_I wonder what he'll do now..._

I didn't ponder it for long. After all, I was on my way home, where my teacher, friends, and a very interesting girl were all waiting for me. I would bury my Mother next to my Father and perhaps, they would both find peace.

**~*~Kaoru's POV~*~**

I cannot believe this...the realization of what has happened hits me like thousands of bricks, weighing down my soul. Tears escape my eyes, but these are not the cold tears one cries in an ignorant hell, like what I had been trapped in -- these are warm; but I am sad all the same.

Shinta has exchanged his position for my own. It's not fair. Surely after all we've been through in life, the universe would have something better planned.

_He joined with me...He came back to stay.._

I reach out for his face, and he lets me touch him, and I gaze into dulled golden eyes.

"Ne, Shinta?"

"What?" He asks in a voice as calm and deadly as Battousai's. In fact, I think that _is_ his hell. To be stuck as Battousai and never able to escape. I find my voice, and soft as a whisper comes the solution..

_"Close your eyes."_

**~*~Sano's POV~*~**

Megumi and I returned to the dojo, together. Now that's a nice thought, and an even nicer word, one that I'm not used to. _Together._

She and Misao have gone out to the market to start preparing for the funeral, along with Tae and Tsubame. And now, Yahiko's seated on the floor with his sword resting against his shoulder, looking oh so Kenshin-ish; Aoshi leans coldly against the wall, and I lounge on the dojo floor, chewing thoughtfully on a fishbone. You see, I have an endless supply of them. We're in a comfortable silence when Yahiko decides to break it.

"I wonder..."

"What?" I ask, annoyed, because I had almost fallen asleep and was certain there were dreams of a beautiful, dark-eyed doctor with nice legs waiting for me.

"Where do you think... people go... when they die?"

Aoshi shrugs, but neither of us are fooled by his cold act anymore.

"I'm sure there's a place for them, Yahiko." I murmur, with a yawn. "Kenshin and Kaoru deserve that."

"And you think they're happy?"

Aoshi surprises me this time with an anser. "They never knew how to be anything else around eachother, ne?"

We let this answer settle in the dojo air, and I take a deep breath. I'm starting to feel lighter. Yes, I think Aoshi's right. Kenshin and Kaoru could be happy anywhere -- as long as they were with eachother.

**~*~Shinta's POV~*~**

What a curious sensation.

I feel like I'm drowning.

What is going on? Who is this woman?

I'm wet, but I'm weightless.

I'm surrounded by water...

And there is light for me at the surface.

My thoughts are jumbled as I feel myself sinking in the ocean that surrounds me. What is this insanity? Where is..._Kaoru?!_

Instantly my hands and feet go to work as I head for the dazzling rays of light that I can see through the water I'm drifting in. The surface. Something tells me I have to get to the surface.

I sit up suddenly in my futon, blinking as I take in my surroundings. The dojo.

Well, not the Earth one...it does appear that I'm still dead...but back in heaven. I spring to my feet.

"Kaoru?"

My nose catches something I had not smelled before in the dojo.. a smell that said home, and reminded me of my life, later on, as a Ruroni.

_Jasmine._

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

I look down at Tokyo with a vague smile. Home.

And for once, it feels like home, too. My feet head towards the dojo, but then I pause...there is somewhere I must go first.

I get directions to the house of Raikouji, and knock politely on the door. To my surprise, Chizuru is the one who answers it.

"Kenji! You're back!"

She says, greeting me with a warm and cheerful smile. I nod solemnly.

"For good, this time?"

She asks, and I find myself nodding again like a dumb idiot.

"Yes." I manage to add. Way to go, Kenji, you can now answer questions with gestures and one word.

"Chizuru..."

"Ne?"

"My mother's funeral..is tomorrow...will you come?"

She nods. "Yes."

I peer around the door quickly, and noticing no parental figure to worry about, quickly lean over and kiss her on the forehead.

"Arigatou."

She's blushing, and I feel one coming on for my rash actions, so before she can say a word, I run off to the dojo as fast as my feet will carry me. It's home, and I have friends waiting there.

**~*~Misao's POV~*~**

The funeral was small, and quiet, early in the morning with the sun rising from the East. Aoshi-sama was the one to come up with the time suggestion, and I asked him why.

"Because everything begins in the East. This is not the end for them."

I had smiled and hugged him tightly at the time, but now I merely hold his hand, watching as Kaoru's coffin((NOTE: Author is clueless on burial rites at the time of Meiji Japan)) was lowered into the ground right as the sunrise reaches its most glorious moment...

**~*~Shinta's POV~*~**

I step out into the dojo's garden, right as the sunrise in heaven easily becomes the most beautiful I've seen.

However, my eyes fall on something far more dear, and far more beautiful to me.

"Kaoru..."

She turns to me with a smile, the best medicine, and I'm by her side in a flash, quickly embracing my wife.

"You came back for me.." She began, resting her head against my chest.

"No. I came to stay with you. Forever."

She smiled and looked at the sunset.

"In either place."

"Yes."

"So this is the beginning of our happiness."

Two figures approached and Shinta smiled warmly.

"Kaoru...there's someone I'd like you to meet. This is Tomoe, and her husband Akira."

They stood face to face for a while, and then Kaoru launched forward to give Tomoe a hug.

"Thank you.."

Tomoe looked startled.

"For what?"

"For making a Battousai...into a Rurouni."

Akira elected to shake my hand, and I grinned at him.

"I told you, you didn't know us."

"Guess not. You're not bad, Shinta."

"Ne, you too."

He smiled suddenly. "Today's a day for gift giving, a celebration of the arrival of one Miss Himura Kaoru."

"Oro?" I asked, and Kaoru laughed. Yes, Oro may sound stupid, but it is a response that works well in almost all unexpected situations. Or so I'd like to think.

"We have a gift for you, Kenshin." Tomoe said solemnly. "Would you like to see your son one last time?" Akira finished.

Kaoru and I stared at eachother for a moment in amazement, and Akira laughed.

"That is enough thanks for us."

And suddenly, I felt like I was flying..

**~*~Kenji's POV~*~**

After the funeral finished I sent Chizuru back to the dojo with Misao, Aoshi, Sano, Tae, Tsubame, Yahiko, and Megumi, telling them all that I wanted some time to sit by their graves and just talk to my parents. I wasn't sure where to start.

"I hope you are happy." I started, sincerely, but it sounded fake to my ears. "I'm going to be lonely without you, but...."

"You'll be fine."

That voice...

Those ki..

I turn around to stare at my parents, standing behind me. Father places a hand on my shoulder, and I can feel it, it's tangible.

"I'm proud of you, Kenji." He murmurs. "You have become very strong."

Mother nodded.

"You will be a great man someday.."

She and my Father smiled at eachother and down at me. Their happiness was tangible, and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

"Ne, he already is."

They both nodded and smiled.

"We have to go. Look after the others."

"Yeah, especially Yahiko-chan."

They faded away and I was left smiling a somewhat dazed smile. Then it widened into a grin.

_Yahiko-CHAN?_

I bowed to their graves in respect, feeling tears slide down my face despite the feeling of peace and happiness their presences left me with.

"I love you...both of you."

Suddenly there's another hand on my shoulder and I whirl to find myself face to face with Chizuru.

"Is everything okay?" She asked quietly.

"Everything is going to be fine." I assured her, taking her hand and leading her back to the dojo where our friends would be waiting.

**~*~Later on that Evening~*~**

**_"WHAT?! I'M NOT YAHIKO-CHAN!!! YOU....YOU..."_**

Yahiko searched for an insult, glaring down at his grinning student...

**"BAKA DESHI!!!"**

--owari

**A/N**: And thus this story ends...OR DOES IT?! (I'm debating on a sequel.) Sorry for the long chapter, I wanted to get everything finished. I'm also going to upload a preview of what's coming in the sequel. Love you guys, thanks for all your support.

-- suiren 


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